As a mom of three kids I feel like sometimes life slips by and you dont even notice. I look at my 3 1/2 year old and think when did you get this big, where was I?! Sometimes it is lonely and depressing to be stuck in the house all day with no one to talk to besides someone yelling at you to get them juice or tattle on their little brother, uhum Willow, or watching Dora for the 14th time, and doing more laundry than is humanly possible.Ugh I'm tired just typing it much less doing it.
I sit here and think of what life used to be like before going to the store for some milk was a 2 hour ordeal or when Shane and I would just hop in the car and drive anywhere we wanted without packing a 40 pound bag full of toys, diapers, wipes, extra clothes, snacks, blankies...you get the point. Now I barely see him and miss him even when hes right there in the room with me. I rely on him to a fault... he is my best friend. I know that there will come a day when it is just him and me. I struggle to find the time amidst the choas to still make him feel special and needed. It's a good thing he thinks I'm so cute or who knows where we'd be. haha. But as stressful and demanding as this 24/7 job is, it is the greatest calling I have ever recieved.
I know the Lord chose me to be at this very point at this very moment.I am totally and utterly commited to my crazy family. But human commitment is imperfect... as much as I feel that I am commited to my man and my kids, it means nothing without the commitment of the Lord backing me and guiding me at every moment !His commitment IS perfect! I find that the less time that I make for God the more crazy and overwhelming life seems. If you are anything like me being a christian is not always easy and effortless. I have a uniquely strong will that hinders me just as much as it helps me. But Psalms 37: 5-7 says, " Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will act, making your righteousness shine like the dawn, your justice like the noonday. Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for Him;" and then in the same chapter after talking about those who live in sin and unrighteousness looking like they are living the good life it says in vs. 23-24, "A man's steps are established by the LORD, and he takes pleasure in his way. Though he falls, he will not be overwhelmed, because the Lord holds his hand." As much as I think I can carry the weight of this word on my shoulders I CAN"T. I must rely on Him. What else in this world offers a commitment like the one the Lord offers us? I hoped this helps some of you other mommies out there who are feeling stretched to thin and overwhelmed like me. Our hope comes for the Lord so commit yourself to Him.
Thanks everybody! Leah